Marking Time & Becoming
In a few weeks, Dave and I will hit our year mark for our mission. I no longer see this date as a point of marking off time, but rather I am seeing it as a place to gauge how far I have come and what I have become. Like most missionaries, I came not knowing what to expect, but trusting God that this experience would be a blessing for me and my family.
The blessings have been abundant, and I now look forward to the remaining two years with a brightness of hope for my continued development. None of this means that this opportunity has become easier with time, because it hasn’t. Instead, I have learned that each day I have a choice to either lean into this self-stretching and often a very uncomfortable experience or to surround myself with a ridgid defensive shield for my perceived endurance and survival. In my past, I have often chosen the latter which constrained myself with boundaries for things I was willing to do or not do with the explanation that “this is just the way I am,” or “I like it this way.” However, when I am honest with myself, I no longer want to be left alone in a comfortable but stagnant state because I now know that I would miss out on some truly great experiences.
I believe that patterns of embracing change can be similar to the path of conversion. In Alma 5:14 it says:
“Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this might change in your hearts?”
And then in verse 26 it says: “If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”
These words of Alma from the Book of Mormon are inviting us to self-reflect. Personal conversion or change should not be seen as a one-time event, but rather a lifetime of personal growth. This concept demonstrates the difference between enduring to the end and enduring well to the end. To endure is unavoidable, but to do it well has much more meaning and purpose because of the perspective taken. How much we grow is entirely dependent upon if we are willing to embrace change and it often takes a great deal of humility because we are tackling our weaknesses. Perhaps this is why our Savior has instructed us to become as a child. He wants our natures to be changed to be like a child so that we will continually try to improve ourselves and this is what we need to endure well. King Benjamin from the Book of Mormon describes this change:
“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy spirit and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
My development is not the only reason I am grateful for this opportunity to serve, this past year has also brought me closer to my Savior and I have come to appreciate King Benjamin’s words from the Book of Mormon where he said: “How knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?” (Mosiah 5:13) It is as President Erying has said, “To be called to serve is a call to come to love the Master we serve. It is a call to have our natures changed. (Erying- As a Child, April 2006)
The phrase “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” describes my service because my learning curve continues to be very steep. But as I have come to appreciate my growth, I look forward to two more years of service here in Peru as well as continued growth after we return home. Sometimes missionaries are accused of being a little weird just after they return home because people can see the change in them. I hope my friends will say the same for me!
Scriptures referenced
Alma 5:14-16
14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your heart?
15 Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?
16 I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day; Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?
Mosiah 5:7 And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters.
Alma 5:26
And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?
As a Child: Erying April 2006 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2006/04/as-a-child?lang=eng
