Sometimes what we want is Not what God Needs

Written By Lisa Chipman

One question that I am always asked when I see people is “¿Cómo va su español? (How is your Spanish coming?)”  I usually say, “Muy mal  (very bad)”  because that is the truth! Thankfully, there are times when I can understand Spanish, but it depends upon so many factors such as the time of day, who is talking, or the subject matter. In spite of my challenges, every week I give talks and lessons in front of large groups of people and because of my limitations I am forced to read continuously from my notes.  From time to time, I get frustrated and then discouraged by my lack of progress.

Last month,  I had a conversation with one of our more timid Hermana missionaries from Peru.  Our communication was slow because it was difficult for her in her broken English and me with my broken Spanish, but we were able to share our thoughts with one another.  She expressed how much she loves me and how I am such a good example as I struggle to converse and teach in Spanish.  It has inspired her to not be ashamed by her mistakes as she tries to learn English and she is overcoming her fears and hesitation. 

After hearing this, I admittedly was a little sad because this was NOT the type of example that I wanted to be to our missionaries. My ambition is to show them that I can learn Spanish too.

After further thought, I realized that perhaps in this instance that what I desire is not what the Lord needs. God sent me here for a reason and I need to accept what that looks like - even if it is so others can learn from my weaknesses. 

In reality, I am fulfilling my purpose as a mission leader. I was not called here to learn a language nor to have a cultural experience, rather my purpose is to help mentor, teach, & nurture young missionaries so that they can serve others and God.  

My experience, although small in comparison, is similar to Abinadi.  He answered God’s call to testify against a powerful king and his court. Unfortunately, his words were rejected and he was sentenced to death. I’m sure this is not what Abinadi had hoped would have happened to him when he was called.  At the time and without his knowledge, Abinadi’s testimony of Jesus Christ sparked the conversion of Alma who wrote his words down. These writings allowed Alma to bring many others to repentance and this had a lasting influence on the Nephites for generations as well as on the people who read Abinadi’s testimony today in the Book of Mormon. (Mosiah 11- 13, 17) 

This just shows that sometimes we can’t actually see the intentions or miracles of God that are happening around us, even when we are participants.  To see them, we need to seek the miracle Elisha sought when he prayed on behalf of his fearful young servant, “Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see.” (see 2 Kings 6:14-17) 

Lisa Chipman
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